Stop the Anguish
by Liv-x-Case-Benson
Summary: She wouldn't have treated him so poorly if she had known the truth that stared her in the face. Now is it too late to make amends? "I wonder if you can hear me."


**Stop the Anguish**

By: Piper Chris Melinda Halliwell

She stopped in the doorway, staring. She could see him lying there on her bed, as if it was her sister's Premonition. Leo was at his side, saying it was going to be okay. He was going to fix it. But he told Leo it was impossible, Gideon's magic was irreversible.

It had only been a few days since the valiant young man she'd learned was her son after months of ridicule and distrust had died. He'd come into their lives as a Whitelighter hoping to gain their trust and save Wyatt, but what had he gotten in return? Dirty looks, angered statements when he'd use the 'future consequences' excuse? Thrown out of the house when his future mother had had enough? That wasn't right.

She should've been able to see who he really was the first time he'd set foot in the house, or at least have a feeling!

Sighing, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. He'd fooled them all. He wasn't just any Whitelighter. _Or even a real Whitelighter. He was half Elder,_ she thought. But he'd always had their backs when it counted. Like family should.

Though she did have to admit she and her sisters got tired of chasing demon after demon when Gideon had been the traitor all along. But had he known? He'd always been suspicious of him, after all. But what could he argue without giving away everything?

Certain things had to take place before he could reveal more. His conception, being the most important.

She took an uncertain step towards her bed and a few more until she reached it. She sat down and winced as she felt the invisible blood seep into her jeans.

"Oh, God," she muttered. "I'm...I'm so, _so_ sorry."

"Who are you talking to?" a soft voice questioned.

"Leo," she gasped, putting a hand to her chest as if to calm herself. "I–I didn't see you there."

"Are you alright?" he asked. He started to walk towards her, hesitantly, before deciding to stop a few paces before her.

"Yeah," she murmured. "I'm...fine."

"You're lying."

"Well, what do you want me to say, Leo? I'm amazing? Wonderful? A son I barely got to know died a few days ago! I wa-wasn't even there for him. We were so cruel to him an-and he just forgave us. Just like that!"

"Piper," he sighed. "I know it's hard. Don't you think it's hard for me? I _watched_ him die. Unable to do anything."

Piper glared at him. "You were no saint either."

"I'm not saying I was–"

"You stalked him, for God's sake, Leo!"

"I know!" he snapped before wincing and lowering his tone. "I know. And I regret it, everyday. But there's nothing we can do, and I can only hope, no, I _know_ that his soul was reborn into that baby right across the hall. Don't you realize that, Piper? We didn't lose him entirely! He's still here."

"It's not the same. Just go, please."

"Piper—"

"Go! I want to be alone!"

"Do you want me to grab your sisters?"

"No," she growled. "I want to be alone. Please, just let me be _alone_."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He almost walked out the door before turning and saying, "I love you."

She responded with a sob as she curled onto the spot where Chris had died. "Go."

Leo sighed again, upset that he couldn't help her, but Piper was stubborn and when she was ready to talk she would _unwillingly_ say she needed to.

A wail sounded from the nursery and Leo orbed right next to Chris's cradle, picking him up in his arms and hushing him.

"I-It's alright. Daddy's here."

"The talk didn't go well, I take it?" Paige commented from the doorway, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

"She's right," he whispered, hugging Chris tighter. "It's not the same."

"What do you mean?" Phoebe asked, biting her lip and ignoring the pain that radiated off of him the best she could.

"I love him."

"Of course you do," Phoebe said and Paige nodded with her.

"But...it's not the same. He's not _Chris_. He's not _our _Chris. He's my child and I'll love him, but I look into his eyes and I have no clue who he is." He looked up, blinking away tears. "Who is he?"

"Oh, Leo," Phoebe frowned.

"He's Chris. He's your son! Of course he won't be like the Chris from the future," Paige insisted. "That Chris had a tough childhood. He didn't have a father and his brother went crazy and God knows what the hell happened to us as to where Chris most likely had to raise himself. What did you expect? As soon as he came out he would roll his eyes, make some sarcastic comment and then insist he cut his own umbilical cord so you don't mess it up?"

Leo chuckled.

"Thank God for that!" Phoebe joked.

"I don't know about you, but I would end up ripping my hair out of a one-day-old scowled and told us to write a spell and make that damn potion already," Paige continued. "You have a second chance here, Leo. Don't screw it up!"

"Paige!" Phoebe hissed.

Paige shrugged. "I know it's tough, but he has to face it. He and Piper both do. I saw him die too. But I also noticed the once in a lifetime opportunity! I would have loved it if I had another chance to live my life and do it _right _this time. You do. You can make him less neurotic. For God's sake, Leo! Make him less neurotic!"

Leo laughed and placed Chris back in his crib as he started to drift back to sleep. "And what about Piper?"

"Piper," Phoebe mused. "As much as I hate to admit it, Piper needs to deal with this on her own time."

* * *

><p>Piper stood in the attic, holding a pin to her finger and poked it. "Blood to blood—"<p>

"Piper?" Phoebe called as she walked up the stairs. "Hey, what are you doing?" she asked walking over.

Piper put the pin down. "Nothing."

Phoebe observed the area, including the cloth Piper now had wrapped around her index finger. She sighed. "Sweetie, it isn't going to work, you know that, right?"

"B-But he's dead," she mumbled, her voice thick. "It has to work! R-Right? It has to!"

"He's not in a past life, not this one, he's...he's in Chris. He's been reincarnated." She struggled. She knew part of it was true, but she also understood where Piper was coming from. That beautiful baby would someday take on the familiar characteristics of the brave young man who had risked his life for them, but they wouldn't see him for a long, long time.

"But how am I supposed to talk to him?" she squeaked. "I have to apologize. A-And tell him I love him!"

"Piper, you have two sons right downstairs that would love it if you told them you loved them," Phoebe said earnestly.

"They aren't Chris though! They're still alive! They weren't treated like crap!" she squeaked. "He can't tell me whether he forgives me."

"Sweetie—"

"I need to be alone," she interrupted. "Please."

Phoebe sighed, walking to the doorway. "I know. I'm going, but if you need anything—"

"I don't," she bit.

She turned around. "Yes I know that, but if you do happen to need something—_anything_—I'll be downstairs." With that her footfalls descended.

Piper resumed her spell, squeezing hr finger and dripping her blood into the cauldron in front of her. "Blood to blood, I summon thee," she paused and wiped the streams of tears from her eyes as well as steady her voice to recite properly, "blood to blood, re—" she took a breath, "return t-to me," she choked out barely able to hear her own voice.

She waited a few minutes, but not a candle flickered. No one from the other side appeared. Out of hurt and pure rage, she knocked the cauldron to the floor which resounded with a thunderous _clang_, making its contents splash onto the floor and her bare feet. She didn't notice anything, however, as she dropped the floor sobbing. Suddenly, she looked to the ceiling. "What? What is it?" she shouted. "Am I suddenly so much of a bad mother—a bad witch—that nobody wants to help me!"

Phoebe ran upstairs after hearing a crash, finding Piper curled up on the floor in the center of everything. Cautiously, she walked over. _She was lucky there's nothing acidic in the cauldron, or maybe I should be,_ she thought as she reached her.

"Piper?"

"Go! Just go away! Please, I know I'm horrible! Just leave me alone!" she cried.

"No," Phoebe answered walking over and kneeling beside her, not even caring about the spilled cauldron, "Piper I won't do that."

She sat up, hugging her legs and almost looked like a child who had done something horribly wrong and gotten caught. "Why? Why won't you leave me alone? It-it's what I want."

Phoebe could barely hold herself together. Piper's emotions were a whirlwind of so much agony, self-hatred, and regret that it hurt to even be in the house, much less here in the midst of the very one who caused the emotions.

The answer was so simple it was almost redundant. _Almost_. Phoebe wrapped her arms around her. "You're my sister and you shouldn't go through all of this alone," she whispered into her ear, feeling Piper shake and she sobbed uncontrollably. Phoebe mimicked her actions. No one could be around this much pain and not feel a single thing. Someone who did definitely wasn't human.

"He hates me! I know it!" Piper said through tears. "I-I treated him so poorly! H-How c-could I do that? How could I not see?"

"I don't know, sweetie. None of us knew for the longest time," she responded much calmer than her broken sister. "He doesn't hate you," Phoebe said wiping her eyes.

"How do you know? We'll never know…not now!" she said coherently and then broke again and leaned into Phoebe.

Phoebe wiped her eyes, rubbing her back before she responded. "He loves you! He still does. He came back here because he loved you. He didn't want to see this future turn out like his, Piper. I think, in truth, he really came back to see you."

"R-really?" she asked, sobs in her throat.

Phoebe nodded. "I would give anything to have that chance. I know we've seen Mom at your wedding—and that very unfortunate warlock incident—but I would love to remember her like you do. She taught you to love, to live. She put Band-Aids on your scraped knees and kissed them. You got all the things I never did. Don't you think Chris wanted to see you, even if you didn't trust him?"

Piper steadied her breathing. "Are you jealous?"

"A bit, but I've learned to live with it over the years. But, the point is, I'm sure Chris wanted to remember the good times while he here and I know he did."

"B-But I said—"

"Piper, not one of us trusted him at first and you are no exception. We've been trained to be suspicious, cautious, especially after Prue. It's not your fault you didn't see characteristics until they were pointed out."

Piper nodded, wrapping her arms around Phoebe. "It's…just hard. I know Baby Chris…he's my Chris, but I want him! The 23-year-old back! Not the baby who needs to be raised!"

Phoebe nodded again. "I know, but you'll watch him grow up. His first words… What's so funny?" she asked when she saw a smirk on her sister's face.

"Just that I hope they're 'Momma or Dadda' and not 'Dema'!"

"True. So true! I never really thought of that!" she said laughing. "The other point is you'll get to experience all these firsts with Baby Chris that you never did with him like his first day of school, the first time he's sick and needs mommy to stay home with him…" Piper sighed, resting against her. "His first date, first girlfriend, first heartbreak—"

"—in our family, first demon attack and first power use," Paige chimed in, walking into the attic. "Wow, we've got a mess to clean up!" she said when she placed the cauldron back on the table.

Finally somewhat calm, Piper stood with Phoebe at her side. "No Paige, it's okay," she said as she took the rags from her and sopped up the contents, "it's my mess. I'll clean it up."

Phoebe kneeled beside her and wiped up what the other towels couldn't hold. "How much did you hear?" she asked as she threw the towel in the trash can Paige had set beside them.

"Enough," was all she replied.

Piper looked up. "So?"

"So what? I didn't hear the whole conversation."

"Yes you did. I know you did. When Phoebe was talking about Mom, you were crying. I heard you."

Paige sighed, annoyed. "At the end of the conversation. Yes, I heard the crash downstairs, but Phoebe said to let her check on it, then Leo walked in and said I should let you two have some time."

"It's probably because Phoebe's the one who can get through my exterior. Not saying you couldn't but—"

"No, its okay. You two grew up together so it's normal that you two are closer."

"But you're our sister too," Phoebe insisted.

Piper rolled her eyes. "And to think if Mom hadn't fallen for Sam, the entire world would be dark."

Paige smiled. "Yes, so it was a good thing, see? I helped the world!"

"Showoff!" Piper said, shoving gently.

"But, you know, it also did break them up. Maybe you would've been anyway," Phoebe commented.

From downstairs a loud wail erupted. Paige and Phoebe looked at each other.

"Go," Phoebe said. "He needs his mommy."

Piper smiled. "Paige could you—" and she was standing inside the nursery, next to Chris's cradle, before she could finish the question.

From out of the blue blanket, bright, teary green eyes stared into dark brown as his cries ceased. His eyes bore into her speaking silently as she scooped him up into her arms. A rustle came from underneath the blankets of the next bed and she smiled as Wyatt sat up in bed.

Piper walked over and sat in the worn rocker. Gently, her fingers brushed the baby's face and his eyes floated closed. Holding him more securely, she gestured to Wyatt. "Wyatt, come over here." Hesitantly, he climbed out of bed and walked over to stand beside them. "This is Chris, sweetie. He's your brother," she whispered.

Wyatt seemed to be taking in this information a bit slowly, so she waited and continued rocking her youngest son to sleep. After a few minutes, he seemed to comprehend it, though at two, Piper could guess that he couldn't say "brother" exactly just yet. He reached a finger over and placed it on the baby's nose. "Cwis?" he asked.

Smiling more, she nodded. "Yes Chris, your brother."

Pulling his hand away, he moved over in front of her.

She laughed. "Oh boy, sibling rivalry." She positioned Chris on her shoulder and Wyatt crawled up into her lap. "See, Mommy has room for both of you."

Wyatt smiled and rested against her. Piper brought Chris back down into her lap, positioning him in her arm. When moved, Chris woke slightly whining. "No, no, ssshh, ssshh, its okay, Chris." Wyatt slid of his mom's lap and she held Chris in her grasp. "Its okay, Chris, it's okay. Mommy's here," she cooed. "I'm here and never going away," she kissed his forehead. "I promise."

From the doorway, Paige gestured for Wyatt which he did. Then the two went downstairs.

* * *

><p>"How's Piper?" Leo asked, as they reached the couch.<p>

Paige sat down and sat Wyatt on the floor. "She's okay…for now."

Leo sighed. "Hopefully now, she can start to heal. It's going to be a long road."

"Not just for her," Phoebe added, walking in from the kitchen.

The three nodded in agreement.

* * *

><p>About fifteen minutes later, Chris was nodding off again. Piper couldn't help smiling. He was so small and vulnerable now, but the other Chris was strong and, someday, he would be too. A great witch and a great, heroic man with his father's stunning green eyes and her dark hair. Powers beyond comprehension.<p>

Her fingers stroked his cheek. His breathing was increasingly even with each little breath her drew. She took her hand away and his eyes fluttered open. Smiling wider, she resumed stroking his cheek until his orbs of green closed again.

"I wonder if you can hear me," she whispered.

If it was possible, Baby Chris sighed in response, but even if it wasn't it still comforted her to pretend he could. That both of them could hear her.

"I'm so sorry sweetie! I don't know if apologizing now can make up for anything, but I hope it can," she looked down to the child in her arms. "I never should have ridiculed you or mistrusted you. You were just looking out for us. You were trying to keep me safe and happy. And I certainly never would've kicked you out if I would've known you… I'm sorry I wasn't here to protect you that day, but I had an important matter to tend to." She laughed lightly and then sighed. "But maybe Phoebe is right. Maybe you didn't completely die after all."

She stood and walked over to put Chris back in his cradle, but before she laid him down, she hugged him as tightly as she dared and kissed his cheek. "I love you, my baby. I know you heard me. I'll be okay now. And I promise I'll protect you this time around," she said as she stroked his cheek.

With that, she turned around and walked back to her life . . .

**T H E-E N D**

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Well, what do you think? Its been a while since I've done a really emtional one.

Special thanks to That70sShowLova for helping me with this!

Please read and review!

**Piper Chris Melinda Halliwell**


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